Stormy weather. Our lives are filled with emotional turbulence. Fierce winds blow, the seas swell, the skies blacken.
Swimming through the currents of life can be quite difficult at times. The turbulent waters can be challenging, the rough and choppy rushing of the waves can undermine the strongest of foundations, testing our resolve, our confidence, and our very outlook. Not one of us is immune to the tangled ropes, the discomfort of walking rocky shores, the sting of seaweed wrapped around our mermaid forms, or even the bite from a fellow soul of the sea. Yet despite the thrashing waters, we must remain steadfast in our journey. We must learn the lessons we are to learn, find the calm within our personal storm, and without a glance back, swim on.
I am of the sea,
sea foam and sparkling algae,
rises to the surface
each time the sun
greets the waves’ cresting arch.
I am of the sea,
I am water through and through,
I ride the ebbs and flows,
I am carried as a child in its mother’s womb,
the tide, washing me out and ashore
cleansing all that is not necessary,
all that does not belong to water,
out of me.
The tide rolls in and kisses the shore,
and I am laid out in my full glorious form,
wrung through the layers of sea and sand,
each granule and drop tells me a secret,
tells me from where my soul comes.
I dance as the water crests in the light,
I bounce and jump
delighting in the charged water
that gives life
I am at home in the ocean,
I am at ease with the tides,
I am of the sea.
The Law of Attraction works in mysterious ways. I have recently recognized how many women have come into my life, how many mermaids have swum into my cove, how many of us share the same emotional collective consciousness of experience, betrayal, and doubts to our self worth, all under the auspices of relationships and love. Like attracts like, positive attracts positive… and though we all did not necessarily recognize the why of our initial connection, it is clear now that we are sisters, our journey one.
I hear myself talking to these goddess friends, for they are all beautiful, amazing, creative, soulful, giving creatures of the sea. We write to each other, speaking of our soul wounds, seeking the channels to swim to healing waters. We speak from places that seem to be one and the same, always marveling at how another could feel the same things, having experienced the very exact hurt or question. We collectively are the net for each other – making sure that we don’t get so tangled that we can not possibly remain free and keep moving, insuring that there is a kindred soul to lend a hand or an ear, assuring that we can and will survive these turbulent waters. There is much laughter, and many tears, but there is survival. We tell each other that we will get through this… that it will get better…that we have the strength and the love to persevere.
And I know that I am doing better, that I am getting stronger, that I am processing it all and navigating through the hurt and the pain to the realizations of personal healing and strength. I know that my getting there is largely due to these other women in my life, and that without them, I would be floating in some emotional oblivion somewhere. We all, with our own emotional crashes, provide an opportunity to look at what we are going through, and support each other with our personal experience and insight, all the time reflecting the lessons and perspectives, as if we are each a mirror turning this way and that. Careful not to be blinded by the ego’s desires, which are of fantasy and imagination, our true stories surface easily in the light. And with each day we all rise from the depths of our personal seas, breathing more easily, having more clarity, more knowledge, and more vision of who we truly are and the needs of our hearts and souls.
That’s me. I am an ever-changing emotional weather system. My moods and outlook shift like the winds, one minute I am brimming with bright, smiley happiness, and the next I am a sorrowful, depleted and tearful shell of myself. I think I have always been like this – high-strung, sensitive, emotional. Things tend to always really affect me. And as the Mermaid that I am, I swim to the depths of my heart and soul, and in those caverns, feeling things so deeply, it takes all my strength to just breathe in my own darkness. So intense and profound are my thoughts that I cannot help but to find a way to express them. That is the creative artist in me. I am compelled to process what I feel, give voice to my perspective of my world. The storms inside me rage and are their own systems in that they have to work their way through. I think all women are like this. Some do not admit their vulnerability; some put on masks that give the illusion that everything is fine. But the truth when I begin talking about my own experiences, my light rain showers, thunderstorms, violent lightning, tornadoes and hurricanes, and then the most difficult and completely unpredictable earthquakes, is that there is not a single woman who has not experienced something that rattles her very core. Anyone who tells you differently is just simply not telling the truth. I thought for a long time that it was just me that had these thoughts, had these doubts, questions about who I was or was suppose to be. But we are all on that same journey. We all swim those same waters when it comes to discovering who we are and our purpose. Every generation of women has had the very same questions and the very same experiences. But no one talks about it. Imagine how less isolated and fearful we would be if someone did let us in on that big secret, that we are all just storms with skin.
I confess. Though I have always loved and now live by the sea, with the exception of my toes touching the water on a rare occasion, I have not immersed myself in the ocean in quite some time. My husband would agree that it has been years since I have playfully surfed the waves and swam out from the shore to drift in solitude and allow the gentle waves to carry me.
This all changed today.
I am the Mermaid of I Must Be A Mermaid – the facebook page and blog. And so when another page and business made its presence known to me, Fin Fun Mermaid Tails, and asked if I would be willing to promote their wonderful Mermaid tail and fin, I thought, why not? In exchange for my time and support, they would send me my very own fin and tail. Ok, so I am a zaftig mermaid, not one of the svelte and fashionable ones that we all see in those amazing photographs and paintings. The big question was what ever was I going to wear to make me look like a Mermaid and not a small whale? This was indeed the exercise at hand. The tail was after all just a bottom, what to wear on top…. I scoffed at the topless mermaid idea, especially without my long wavy mermaid hair! I hemmed and hawed and procrastinated until the weather turned cold.
After much thought and then feeling a bit guilty that I had not held up my end of the deal with Fin Fun, I had agreed to write a review and send along some pictures or video (very scary!), I finally took the plunge. I had been on the beach yesterday at around noon and it was beautiful and perfect. The weather report was the same for today. I enlisted my husband as my photographer for what would be a test run. This would be a “let’s see how the tail works and figure out what we need for the real shoot.” And that is how it went.
So there I was. On a deserted beach except for my husband and two dogs, who were quite confused that I had turned into a huge fishlike creature and that I was flopping around in the water to boot. I was a Mermaid…. I write so much about the gestalt of being a Mermaid and now I actually had turned into one! I was always a swimmer. Gliding in the sea in an iridescent tail with a huge fin seemed natural. Swimming in the tail was amazing. There is a fluidity that is unsurpassed when you are one solid beam moving through the water. There is a rhythm that you feel, like a heart beat that compliments the very tide that you are swimming with and then against. I wrote earlier that I was going to the beach to Sea Soul Search…. and what I found was my renewed Mermaid Soul. And it was invigorating and liberating, and fun… fin fun!
visit Fin Fun at http://www.finfunmermaid.com/
Into your heart and soul you must dive deeply and fearlessly. There is no other way. I often think about my childhood – diving into the swimming pool, plunging into the ocean from the perfect perch on our family’s sailboat. I was so courageous then. I would stand, planning my smooth entrance into the water, taking in the other divers around me, watching how the sunlight bounced off the bottom, reflecting back to me all my bravado and beckoning to me to just dive in. (more…)
I have always loved the sea. From my tender years, I would feel the salt-spray on my skin, taste the warm Biscayne Bay waters that would come to help soothe me, and inhale the air that filled me with energy and perspective. Boating, sailing in particular, has always been an important part of my life. I was my own master on my sailing vessels, pointing to catch the wind so that I could race as fast as I could, feeling the strong and subtle breezes surround me, moving me forward. Owning my independence and solitude, I could navigate my world at hand.
It is then no real surprise to me that I was lured by the idea of being a mermaid… (more…)