The world is moving so fast… I am feeling so fragmented. Is anyone else feeling that way? With all the astrological and planetary phenomenons, I am really feeling all the ups and downs… the heavy and the light, the swells and recessions of the waves of energy, love, life.
You are the greatness…. the beauty…. the stars in the sky… We are living in an amazing time where we have the opportunity to connect and be one, collectively and globally. The technology is here and the internet and social media provide the threads of which we can weave a new paradigm, a new world. Today marks the launch of The Wellness Universe Directory. I am very excited to be a part of this new resource of facebook pages and websites! Hope, encouragement, inspiration, health and wellness, education…. it is all here for you! Be a part of the shift and The Wellness Universe!
I always try to set an intention for each day, one that will focus my thoughts and energy to create the most positive and wonderful experiences. By giving voice to our desires and wishes, we actively put our intentions into the universe. So write your intention down, be clear and deliberate. Let’s set the best 2015 in motion.
I find myself searching. I find myself, searching. Searching for a light, a path, a way to personal peace, serenity, happiness. The sun rises and the skies brighten; yet I awake with a heavy heart, my soul unsettled, it questions. With both feet on the ground now I take stock of how I feel. My muscles and joints ache. There is sadness in my heart. And so I begin the daily search – I breathe, deep breaths, to cleanse my soul, cleanse my energy. I reach my arms to the heavens to stretch my physical form, allowing my very breath to infiltrate and then fill every cell with the purity of the love that I hold within. I feel somewhat centered now and so move on with my day. But there is still that scent of sadness. It is as if there is on one shoulder, my left, a bubble of happiness, and on the right, one of sadness. And it is so much easier to look to the right. And when I do, I find sadness just sitting and waiting.
I have tried many paths, searched for answers, solutions, ways to stave off the sadness, find happiness, heal my heart. I have searched with astrology, numerology, psychic readings, channeled readings, shamanic healings, energy clearings, Akashic Record Readings, past life readings, Jin Shin Jyutsu, yoga, meditation, aryuveda, Chinese medicine, and Marconics. I search for a pathway that allows me to successfully search and find myself. All of these pathways provide a light to our deepest insight, our deepest dreams, our deepest darkness. They are all in their own right miraculous in that they do for those moments in time somehow break through and shatter the sadness, helping to balance and align the mind, body, and soul, allowing new insight and perspective, and often a new outlook on life itself.
The searching and finding is a process, a journey, a metaphor for life. If we live presently in each moment, search moment to moment for that peace, serenity and happiness, we can be at ease with our life and ourselves. We can turn our heads to the left, and live in that happiness bubble – because in the present there is no worry or anxiety about what is coming or what may be, there is only what is. We are truly capable of breathing in love and balance. We can taste presence, and the greatness we hold for ourselves within. So search. Search high and low. Do not leave any path untried. Search the heavens and the stars and the oceans and the shores. Search deeply within. And find yourself.
Resources for healing:
Jin Shin Jyutsu – https://www.jsjinc.net/
Marconics – http://www.marconicrecalibration.com/
Oh, no! It’s the Positivity Challenge! I actually have been dreading this … hoping to not get nominated. But when I saw that I had been tagged in a post, I found I had no choice but to accept the challenge: “Today I nominate Dani Pring, Jill Alman-Bernstein and Arielle Manzi to begin the challenge where you name 3 things you are grateful for for the next 5 days and nominate 3 people to join in each day. Finding something to be grateful for everyday helps us see just how lucky and blessed we truly are. ~Rose, Believe The Best is Yet To Come.”
I figured it would probably be good for me to think about, identify, and be grateful for what is in my life. I bet it would make me feel better too. When we see and then focus on the good things around us, the blessings, the miracles, the positives, we do look at the world differently. There is a shift in our mood, in our perspective, in our attitude, and in our day. It was the having to nominate three people each day that was threatening to derail me. If you are like me, I cringe at chain letter type e-mails. And I am very uncomfortable about obligating other people. After all, how many e-mails and facebook posts asking us to send this to several people can we really participate in? And then I had this idea to post it here on I Must Be A Mermaid and invite all of you to participate. No pressure. If you are feeling it, you will do it. So for the next five days, starting today, announce, declare three things that you are grateful for. We will put our collective grateful energy into the universe. Imagine what we can create with all that gratefulness! So let’s do this together. Accept the Positivity Challenge!
It is raining. The heavens have opened up and are washing the earth and all of us on it. These past few weeks have been so extraordinarily difficult for so many of us. We, the sensitive creatures, have felt every ripple of energy – every aspect of the solar flares, eclipses, cardinal cross, and whatever else may have been contributing to the hyper calibrated sense of our worlds.
Now it is almost as if the rain is flushing away all of what does not serve our highest good. All of those emotions and struggles and lapses of self-confidence, confusion about ourselves and our sense of purpose, are now streaming away from us – and we are left with our true selves, our true essence. All those last vestiges of the labels and identifiers of who we might be are being gently stripped away… delicately rinsed from our bodies like fine sand… we see each granule, each part of ourselves falling away now. Tears are flowing like the rain – we mourn for those parts of us that we thought we were or thought we wanted to be. But the universe and almighty spirit has another plan for us. And it is from that place in the heavens that the Great Spirit itself pours out love and helps us rinse off all that is not of that highest vibration.
It is always about love. We must teach love, show love, be love… always being on the path and being aware of love’s guiding light that paves our way.
I wake up. My eyes open and sunlight floods my senses. Light is a wonderful thing. This winter has been difficult at best. The darkness of the past few months stands as a metaphor for the darkness within. In my hibernation, within myself, I sometimes get lost in the weariness, in the despair and sadness, and in the frustration and discontent of it all.
It is also in those quiet, introspective times that we find our most frail and vulnerable selves. In those moments a finger is pointed at our most sensitive character, our least worthy, least lovable, and weakest selves. And so we tumble into our personal darkness, clinging to something, anything, anyone… that can prevent us from falling completely into emotional oblivion. We seek that hand that can grab hold of us, and then somehow pull us from the caverns of our soul.
I reached for the hand of a healer. And I had a most remarkable energy healing session the other day. The dark aspect of me, one that was rooted in a hallow sadness, was brought to the me in the “now.” It was remarkable because from the moment she was identified, I knew her to be the true place of my darkness. I could see her clouded perspective. Her presence, denoted by a thick grey fog, had become a permanent dweller in my being. The healing session brought forth so much insight, shedding light, literally, on my experiencing such darkness, such sadness. I was amazed that I was able to see the energy of this aspect, that I was able to understand on an intuitive soul level, where she came from and what she represented. Immediately there was clarity. Through guidance and visualization, I was asked to transmute the energy, bringing light to her and upon her. I watched as my highest self embraced this somber one, and how I was able to transform her by shining that light and love. Her hair, once dark and lifeless, turned to a beautiful golden light brown, and her clothes changed from a grey brown to a billowy off white. Instead of sorrow, her hands now held a huge bouquet of daisies. It was that image that I would integrate now. It was that persona that would dance in my soul.
I am holding on strong to that lightness of my being, cautiously wary that the dark exists, and that I must consciously keep shining that love and light on not only that little girl persona that lives so deeply within me, but on me, the me right now, in this moment. It takes great determination and purposeful practice to keep the light shining, keep the positive energy and outlook.
I think that we all must work so hard at keeping our darkness at bay. That darkness is a shadow aspect and often eludes our conscious self. But we must bring it to consciousness. It is only there that we can truly see that part of us that is preventing us from living the life we can. It is important to identify that part of us so that we can acknowledge, accept, forgive, and then transform – transforming the dark energy within us is crucial for our emotional outlook; transforming our outlook is critical to our health, well-being, and happiness. It takes just the slightest word, thought, or event to veer us off our course. And so it becomes imperative to always be able to find that something, that hand to hold when we are tumbling, and tap into it, to keep us grounded, reminding us of our most worthy, loveable, strongest, and best selves. Whenever I feel a twinge of that darkness, I just go and look at the big vase of daisies sitting on my bay window sill. Now there will always be daisies in my house.
Added note: If you are interested, the hand I reached for belongs to Christel Hughes. http://www.christelhughes.com/coaching.html
It is hard to look back at your life and not judge yourself. And what is the point of doing that, anyway? Judgment only traps you in a negative vibration cycle, one where you are constantly pitting yourself against what you may think have been a better path with better choices, a place where you can only find pain and regret, not a place of forgiving yourself for not knowing how a situation would play out, what the outcome of a relationship would be, or how it would effect the you in the future – the you NOW on a psychological, emotional, spiritual, and even physical level. It is believed, and there is much scientific evidence, that our state of mind, the amount of stress or lightness of being, contributes to our overall health conditions. It is also noted that a negative vibration pattern traps you not only in that dense gripping emotional fog where which way is up becomes clouded and almost imperceptible, but in a physical calamitous state, the psychic “dis- ease” permeating your entire body and energy field. For that is what we are, energy. We are able to manipulate our energy by our thoughts, which are also energy, by our love for ourselves and others and the world, by every action and reaction we make and have. Everything is energy and vibration.
A friend who is struggling with some personal issues wrote to me the other day. She thought that what she was going through, putting herself through, was making her physically ill. It was an eye opening moment for me too. As I have been struggling with some similar personal issues, and have been experiencing a lot of upset stomach days. I am thinking back to when I was in my formative young adult years and how I felt, the illnesses I had, the emotional states, the intense life choices I was faced with. I had to have surgery when I was in my 20’s that could have meant not being able to have children. There was a whisper of “what if it’s cancer?” But as my luck or destiny would have it, the surgery was successful, there was no cancer, and I went on to have three beautiful and creative souls (by c-section due to the surgery,) and the close call served to throw into the light what I thought was my true dream and purpose, to nurture and build a family. That period of my life was not easy. It was fraught with turbulent energy. There were the emotionally abusive relationships – you know the ones, where you are convinced that person is the one, even though the conflicts are greater than any ease of time spent together. I was trying to get a foothold on my career path and so there was stress with making the right connections and finding the right job. I was trying to swim my way in the world. It is in times like these that you wonder what is wrong with you and judgment is the overriding energy in your life. Somehow you find a way to get through it all. You rally and throw yourself into your friendships, and anything else you can, in search for what will make it all work, make it all make sense.
I think the hardest thing is to experience those kinds of struggles. The ones that throw you off your game, that make you question your path, your value and self worth, your capability to cope with adversity, and your ability to see the light that shines within. Maybe I have a chronic case of self-judgment? Because I seem to always be in that struggle mode. Some days are admittedly better than others, but most of the time, there is some underlying struggle, some battle going on inside of me. The aching and pain in my heart and soul, that energy vibration, translates to aches and pain in my physical body. And though I am married (it will be 23 years this June) and have the family I always wanted, there are still things that just don’t feel or sit right within me. So I am still working on that self-judgment thing. There is still great struggle within.
p.s. As I was reading this over for the second time, I commented that it was almost there but that I should have started on it yesterday! My husband quickly pointed out, “there you go again with that self-judgment,” and I realized that I should create a “judgment jar” and each time I self- judge myself, I will put a dollar in the jar!
There are just some days when everything feels like it is falling apart. The emotional chaos seems too much to bare, and the reveal of how deeply painful it all is plunges you down into the darkest cave. You try to see light and hold on to all the inspiration you have memorized and planted. The “everything happens for a reason,” “there is a lesson in everything,” and “trust the universe,” all feel so shallow, your faith and belief are clouded. What are you clinging to that is holding you in this vibration and preventing your joyous energy to flow? What if the one thing that you are holding on to so intensely is, when let go, the very piece that will balance everything else into place, and the flow of ease will be restored? (more…)