I wake up. My eyes open and sunlight floods my senses. Light is a wonderful thing. This winter has been difficult at best. The darkness of the past few months stands as a metaphor for the darkness within. In my hibernation, within myself, I sometimes get lost in the weariness, in the despair and sadness, and in the frustration and discontent of it all.
It is also in those quiet, introspective times that we find our most frail and vulnerable selves. In those moments a finger is pointed at our most sensitive character, our least worthy, least lovable, and weakest selves. And so we tumble into our personal darkness, clinging to something, anything, anyone… that can prevent us from falling completely into emotional oblivion. We seek that hand that can grab hold of us, and then somehow pull us from the caverns of our soul.
I reached for the hand of a healer. And I had a most remarkable energy healing session the other day. The dark aspect of me, one that was rooted in a hallow sadness, was brought to the me in the “now.” It was remarkable because from the moment she was identified, I knew her to be the true place of my darkness. I could see her clouded perspective. Her presence, denoted by a thick grey fog, had become a permanent dweller in my being. The healing session brought forth so much insight, shedding light, literally, on my experiencing such darkness, such sadness. I was amazed that I was able to see the energy of this aspect, that I was able to understand on an intuitive soul level, where she came from and what she represented. Immediately there was clarity. Through guidance and visualization, I was asked to transmute the energy, bringing light to her and upon her. I watched as my highest self embraced this somber one, and how I was able to transform her by shining that light and love. Her hair, once dark and lifeless, turned to a beautiful golden light brown, and her clothes changed from a grey brown to a billowy off white. Instead of sorrow, her hands now held a huge bouquet of daisies. It was that image that I would integrate now. It was that persona that would dance in my soul.
I am holding on strong to that lightness of my being, cautiously wary that the dark exists, and that I must consciously keep shining that love and light on not only that little girl persona that lives so deeply within me, but on me, the me right now, in this moment. It takes great determination and purposeful practice to keep the light shining, keep the positive energy and outlook.
I think that we all must work so hard at keeping our darkness at bay. That darkness is a shadow aspect and often eludes our conscious self. But we must bring it to consciousness. It is only there that we can truly see that part of us that is preventing us from living the life we can. It is important to identify that part of us so that we can acknowledge, accept, forgive, and then transform – transforming the dark energy within us is crucial for our emotional outlook; transforming our outlook is critical to our health, well-being, and happiness. It takes just the slightest word, thought, or event to veer us off our course. And so it becomes imperative to always be able to find that something, that hand to hold when we are tumbling, and tap into it, to keep us grounded, reminding us of our most worthy, loveable, strongest, and best selves. Whenever I feel a twinge of that darkness, I just go and look at the big vase of daisies sitting on my bay window sill. Now there will always be daisies in my house.
Added note: If you are interested, the hand I reached for belongs to Christel Hughes. http://www.christelhughes.com/coaching.html