Things Are Just As They Are

Open your eyes. Look around you. Check in with yourself about how you are feeling – are you centered, are you tired, do you feel refreshed, are you ready to step forward in your day? It is important to see things clearly, and to understand what is real, what “is.” 

It is not uncommon for us to think about the past, to wonder “what if,” or to imagine or fantasize about something or someone that we want.  But when you open your eyes and look around, you see things just as they are. This is your reality. This is your life. And you must embrace that which is. It is not just about living in the moment, in the present, it is about seeing and living with clarity and understanding. 

things are just as they are

Jill Alman-Bernstein

I Must Be A Mermaid is the blending of my own personal soul searching with the inspirations and insights that I first found in the community of like-minded writers, healers, and teachers on Facebook. I dove in, created my page, and found the courage to swim through whatever was in my path, giving voice to my feelings through my personal observations and writing, as well as of those that spoke to me. With my I Must Be A Mermaid blog, I will fearlessly dive deeper into the realms of my heart and soul, swimming through their waters as a mermaid immersed in the sea of life.

By | 2016-07-08T10:04:38+00:00 July 8th, 2016|Emotional Weather on the "8's"|2 Comments

Sometimes you just have to say, “It is what it is.”

“Take things as they come.”  “Be present.”  “Live the moment.”  All great drops of advice and all important to having peace in your heart.  So why is it that we have such a difficult time doing them?  Many of us analyze, over analyze, think, and over think why certain events and relationships happen in our lives.  We are stuck on not only the fact that they happened, but on the why.  After all, everything happens for a reason.  But is it so important to know that reason?  Can’t we just accept that it happened and look for what it has shown us, taught us, and how it has helped us grow? 

If there was ever a statement that strongly resonated with me it would be Caroline Myss’ words: “Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.” I spent years trying to find the reason why something happened, why I made the choice I did, why things had worked out as they had.  It was so painful and I suffered greatly.  Living in the past or holding on to a fantasy is such a waste of energy. And it causes great hardship. Trying to decipher all the meanings in our personal universe is exhausting and we may not find all the answers we seek, or want for that matter. The search could be enlightening, but most often we feel anguish, sadness, and heartbreak when we remain in that search for the reasons why.

We all make mistakes.  We all experience some emotional trauma. We all suffer.  But we have the power, the choice, to free ourselves from that pain.  I have often joked with friends about how it is time to get off misery road, that it is within our power to change the trajectory of our lives. We must choose to be vigilant and redirect our thoughts away from the questions of why something happened, why a relationship soured, why a person is the way they are, why a job didn’t work out,  why we had to lose a loved one… why our life is the way it is.  The best thing we can do for ourselves is give up the need to know why things happen as they do and just accept that they did, that they are as they are now.  Just accept and allow the lesson. I dislike the expression, “It is what it is,” but it is the truth, and I find myself thinking or saying those words a lot lately.   

So turn off of misery road and turn on to the road of joy, of happiness, of contentment, and of peace.  Turn off your wondering mind. Cease the inquiry. Give up the need to know the why and concentrate on what is – focus on the present moment, and then focus on each subsequent moment as you experience life.  “Take things as they come.” “Be present.” “Live the moment.”  Accept this very moment and all that it holds for you.  Peace of mind and soul can be yours. It is your choice.

it is within our power to change the trajectory of our lives

Jill Alman-Bernstein

I Must Be A Mermaid is the blending of my own personal soul searching with the inspirations and insights that I first found in the community of like-minded writers, healers, and teachers on Facebook. I dove in, created my page, and found the courage to swim through whatever was in my path, giving voice to my feelings through my personal observations and writing, as well as of those that spoke to me. With my I Must Be A Mermaid blog, I will fearlessly dive deeper into the realms of my heart and soul, swimming through their waters as a mermaid immersed in the sea of life.

By | 2016-03-04T10:21:51+00:00 March 4th, 2016|More Emotional Weather|2 Comments

My Soul Got Lost for a Little While…

my soul got lost for a little while copy

 

I often wonder how I got to this place… through all the trials and tribulations… how I somehow continued despite the derailment, the heartbreak, and the shattering of dreams.  I did manage to survive it all, and to arrive here in this moment where I can see the blessings in my life, where I can see the beauty, where my heart is open with gratitude, and where my soul is at peace.

 

 

 

Jill Alman-Bernstein

I Must Be A Mermaid is the blending of my own personal soul searching with the inspirations and insights that I first found in the community of like-minded writers, healers, and teachers on Facebook. I dove in, created my page, and found the courage to swim through whatever was in my path, giving voice to my feelings through my personal observations and writing, as well as of those that spoke to me. With my I Must Be A Mermaid blog, I will fearlessly dive deeper into the realms of my heart and soul, swimming through their waters as a mermaid immersed in the sea of life.

By | 2016-01-26T00:04:10+00:00 January 26th, 2016|Quotes and Thoughts|1 Comment

The Great Wave

It has been such a long time since I have really written anything… I have been thinking about that lately, and feeling that it might be time to dive in to my heart that feels so broken, shattered from the loss of my father, and the shifts of life that have rippled from that loss.  A friend sent me a book shortly after my father died… “How to Heal A Grieving Heart” by Doreen Virtue and James Van Praagh.  It was given to her and signed by JamesVan Praagh, yet she felt called to put it into my hands.  If you don’t know this book, each page has a separate thought, so you can just open the book to any page and find some bit of inspiration to help you through your grief.  I think one of the first things I read from it was about how one great loss will trigger other unhealed losses.  I had been experiencing that and reading that passage validated what I was going through.  And so I have been wading through all the other losses that I thought I had put into place, accepted, understood, integrated, healed… only to discover of course that that was the furthest thing from the truth, my truth.  Why when I wanted to focus on grieving the death of my father did I have to think about other things, relationships, parts of myself that brought up so much emotion.  But there it all was.  And I really had no choice but to somehow find my path through it all.  My heart ached.  I was depleted emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  And ten months later, I can’t believe that my father has been gone (in the physical sense) for ten months,  I am still very much immersed in the process and feelings of that grieving.  Tears flow daily and I basque in the salt of my personal sea.

I think that our hearts are continually being broken – but broken open so that we may have the opportunity to really see who we are and who is really there for us in our lives.  I have talked to many friends that have experienced the loss of a loved one, and everyone shares this – that the dynamics in their relationships change.  Perhaps the person who died was the glue of the family… perhaps in the process of the death family members did not see things exactly the same way… or perhaps because we are all unique, we handle our grief as we handle our life in different ways. The point is, things change.  Everything changes.  And the change is continual.  And so I take comfort in the fact that the sadness or pain or anger or disconnectedness I feel will change too.  I think loss is the great wave that washes over us and like the ocean washing the shore, exposes every rock, every shell, every granule of sand, every piece of us.  It forces us to be in the light, and yet there is the darkness too, when the water blankets us and allows us to stay in our depths, in whatever feelings we choose to be in at that time.  I prefer the light.  I relish the sunlight that shines on the beach, on me, warming my heart so that feelings of acceptance and love emanate from my soul, from my very core essence.  But I also recognize the importance of the darkness and the time spent in that place.  There is a quote about how it is darkness that gives us the opportunity to see the light.  I think I see the light now – I think I see the path, to healing and love and acceptance and understanding of it all. And that is all we can really ask of ourselves – to find our way in a manner that allows us to be in the light of love and happiness, if even just for a moment each day. 

i think loss is the great wave

Jill Alman-Bernstein

I Must Be A Mermaid is the blending of my own personal soul searching with the inspirations and insights that I first found in the community of like-minded writers, healers, and teachers on Facebook. I dove in, created my page, and found the courage to swim through whatever was in my path, giving voice to my feelings through my personal observations and writing, as well as of those that spoke to me. With my I Must Be A Mermaid blog, I will fearlessly dive deeper into the realms of my heart and soul, swimming through their waters as a mermaid immersed in the sea of life.

By | 2015-07-18T10:14:42+00:00 July 18th, 2015|Emotional Weather on the "8's"|3 Comments

Let Go With Love

Swim over to http://simplereminders.com/20141115221332.html for my latest article – Let Go With Love.  Thank you for reading and commenting.

Jill Alman-Bernstein

I Must Be A Mermaid is the blending of my own personal soul searching with the inspirations and insights that I first found in the community of like-minded writers, healers, and teachers on Facebook. I dove in, created my page, and found the courage to swim through whatever was in my path, giving voice to my feelings through my personal observations and writing, as well as of those that spoke to me. With my I Must Be A Mermaid blog, I will fearlessly dive deeper into the realms of my heart and soul, swimming through their waters as a mermaid immersed in the sea of life.

By | 2015-06-27T03:10:10+00:00 June 27th, 2015|More Emotional Weather|1 Comment

Now Is The Perfect Moment

now is the perfect moment

 

 

Everything about everything I read or see is telling me to let go of everything except what is directly in front of me, what is in this very moment.  How easy it is to just center yourself on what it is that is happening just within your fingertips’ reach.  No need to think about what happened a few minutes ago, or yesterday, or last year, or ten years ago for that matter.  No need to worry or become anxious about what will be tomorrow, or the next day, or next year, or in the distant future.  Now is the moment that we must live.  It is the perfect time to take note of your feelings, assess where you are in all aspects of your life. Because in an instant, everything will change.

 

 

Jill Alman-Bernstein

I Must Be A Mermaid is the blending of my own personal soul searching with the inspirations and insights that I first found in the community of like-minded writers, healers, and teachers on Facebook. I dove in, created my page, and found the courage to swim through whatever was in my path, giving voice to my feelings through my personal observations and writing, as well as of those that spoke to me. With my I Must Be A Mermaid blog, I will fearlessly dive deeper into the realms of my heart and soul, swimming through their waters as a mermaid immersed in the sea of life.

By | 2015-03-31T18:39:50+00:00 March 31st, 2015|Quotes and Thoughts|1 Comment

Hold Onto The Love

Fearlessly dive deeply into your heart and soul… that’s what mermaids do.

Know that you are pure and amazing and that you are filled with love.

 

fearlessly dive deeply into your heart and soul

Jill Alman-Bernstein

I Must Be A Mermaid is the blending of my own personal soul searching with the inspirations and insights that I first found in the community of like-minded writers, healers, and teachers on Facebook. I dove in, created my page, and found the courage to swim through whatever was in my path, giving voice to my feelings through my personal observations and writing, as well as of those that spoke to me. With my I Must Be A Mermaid blog, I will fearlessly dive deeper into the realms of my heart and soul, swimming through their waters as a mermaid immersed in the sea of life.

By | 2015-02-11T20:13:48+00:00 February 4th, 2015|Dive Deeply, Quotes and Thoughts|1 Comment

Who Am I Anyway?

Who am I?  We can all answer that question in regards to what roles we play: whether we are a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a child, what kind of work we do, what kind of service we are committed to. The background we come from, the education we have, everything seems to define who we are. I am a mother, daughter, sister, and spouse. I am inspired to connect to and express my creative voice through writing and to nurture and facilitate others to be inspired and find their own creative muse.   I support certain charities, giving my time and resources. These are the responsibilities and obligations, the commitments I have to my life.

“But the roles we play, things we do, cultures we come from, or labels we put on ourselves are not accurate answers to the question.”

Christine Hassler, in an article from The Daily Love, speaks about who we are in terms of our true essence. She goes on to say, “You are not what you do. You are not who you are with. You are not the roles you play in life.  You are not your family, religion or race. You are not your age. You are not your gender. You are not your resume of jobs, interests and experiences.”

So Who Am I? What is my true essence?

I was speaking with someone yesterday and she commented how much I give to everyone around me and asked if I have anything left for myself.

Yes, I am a giver.   I am loving, nurturing, and care deeply. I am generous, compassionate, thoughtful, and sensitive. I am inspired to be intuitive and creative. I strive to be authentic and present.

These aspects of me are apparent in all that I do. It is my core essence that informs others of who I really am, my innate nature radiating in every facet of my life.   The ‘roles’ are just the ‘forms’ that my essence takes.

1596991_601010053314368_1456604961_oHassler writes, “We get way to obsessed with form and want to know what we are supposed to do as our life’s purpose. Your purpose is not something you can do; it is only something you can be.  And when you know who you truly are and bring forward those qualities that are your true essence more and more in everything you do, the more you will attract the forms that are most aligned with who you really are.”

It is our essence, our soul, that will direct us to our soul’s purpose. It is pure and true and informs us of what resonates with our hearts.   It is our essence that is the key to our passion and joy, and to our being content with all that is our life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jill Alman-Bernstein

I Must Be A Mermaid is the blending of my own personal soul searching with the inspirations and insights that I first found in the community of like-minded writers, healers, and teachers on Facebook. I dove in, created my page, and found the courage to swim through whatever was in my path, giving voice to my feelings through my personal observations and writing, as well as of those that spoke to me. With my I Must Be A Mermaid blog, I will fearlessly dive deeper into the realms of my heart and soul, swimming through their waters as a mermaid immersed in the sea of life.

By | 2014-04-28T21:22:08+00:00 April 28th, 2014|Emotional Weather on the "8's"|2 Comments

Striking a Balance

Relationships are about balance. It is that give and take, that exchange of energy that allows relationships to work.  Each of us has needs and desires, be it in a friendship, a romance, or a business partnership.  We expect the person to behave in a certain way – to be respectful, loving, kind, and honest, and to honor our needs and desires.  But it is with those expectations that we are so often disappointed or disenchanted.  Our friend, lover, or colleague has been brought up with a different compass, their own set of values and beliefs, very different from our own, and sometimes not on the same map.

everyone does the best they can.jpgOver the years I have watched many people do things that in my mind were just not ok, not acceptable, and not even remotely on my personal map.  I have heard the whispers and angry words full of criticism and judgment of those who have done or said something that was perhaps not honorable, mature, or professional.  But the fact is, we are all human.  We are neither perfect nor infallible.  And when it comes down to it, I think we all really try to do the best we can.  But with so many variables and so much history and past experience, we often fall short of someone else’s mark.  Maybe we sometimes even fall short of our own.  I told a friend recently who was feeling very hurt and having an issue with someone that, “everyone does the best they can but their best just may not be right for you.”  And I think that is the five hundred pound gorilla in the room so to speak.  What do you do when it is clear that a relationship or situation is out of balance, is not working, and is unhealthy for you?   The easy answer is to disengage, or erect some major boundaries.  The real answer is you must find a healthy balance.  A relationship, any relationship must have that equilibrium.  And it is up to you to either find or create that stability, or accept that it is just not possible to achieve that balance with a particular person on your map.

 

 

Jill Alman-Bernstein

I Must Be A Mermaid is the blending of my own personal soul searching with the inspirations and insights that I first found in the community of like-minded writers, healers, and teachers on Facebook. I dove in, created my page, and found the courage to swim through whatever was in my path, giving voice to my feelings through my personal observations and writing, as well as of those that spoke to me. With my I Must Be A Mermaid blog, I will fearlessly dive deeper into the realms of my heart and soul, swimming through their waters as a mermaid immersed in the sea of life.

By | 2014-03-27T22:38:56+00:00 March 28th, 2014|Emotional Weather on the "8's"|1 Comment

My Lightness of Being

I wake up.  My eyes open and sunlight floods my senses.  Light is a wonderful thing.  This winter has been difficult at best.  The darkness of the past few months stands as a metaphor for the darkness within.  In my hibernation, within myself, I sometimes get lost in the weariness, in the despair and sadness, and in the frustration and discontent of it all.

It is also in those quiet, introspective times that we find our most frail and vulnerable selves.  In those moments a finger is pointed at our most sensitive character, our least worthy, least lovable, and weakest selves.  And so we tumble into our personal darkness, clinging to something, anything, anyone… that can prevent us from falling completely into emotional oblivion.  We seek that hand that can grab hold of us, and then somehow pull us from the caverns of our soul.

I reached for the hand of a healer. And I had a most remarkable energy healing session the other day.  The dark aspect of me, one that was rooted in a hallow sadness, was brought to the me in the “now.”  It was remarkable because from the moment she was identified, I knew her to be the true place of my darkness.  I could see her clouded perspective. Her presence, denoted by a thick grey fog, had become a permanent dweller in my being.  The healing session brought forth so much insight, shedding light, literally, on my experiencing such darkness, such sadness.  I was amazed that I was able to see the energy of this aspect, that I was able to understand on an intuitive soul level, where she came from and what she represented.  Immediately there was clarity. Through guidance and visualization, I was asked to transmute the energy, bringing light to her and upon her.  I watched as my highest self embraced this somber one, and how I was able to transform her by shining that light and love.  Her hair, once dark and lifeless, turned to a beautiful golden light brown, and her clothes changed from a grey brown to a billowy off white.  Instead of sorrow, her hands now held a huge bouquet of daisies.  It was that image that I would integrate now.  It was that persona that would dance in my soul.

I am holding on strong to that lightness of my being, cautiously wary that the dark exists, and that I must consciously keep shining that love and light on not only that little girl persona that lives so deeply within me, but on me, the me right now, in this moment.  It takes great determination and purposeful practice to keep the light shining, keep the positive energy and outlook.

I think that we all must work so hard at keeping our darkness at bay.  That darkness is a shadow aspect and often eludes our conscious self.  But we must bring it to consciousness.  It is only there that we can truly see that part of us that is preventing us from living the life we can.  It is important to identify that part of us so that we can acknowledge, accept, forgive, and then transform – transforming the dark energy within us is crucial for our emotional outlook; transforming our outlook is critical to our health, well-being, and happiness.  It takes just the slightest word, thought, or event to veer us off our course.  And so it becomes imperative to always be able to find that something, that hand to hold when we are tumbling, and tap into it, to keep us grounded, reminding us of our most worthy, loveable, strongest, and best selves.  Whenever I feel a twinge of that darkness, I just go and look at the big vase of daisies sitting on my bay window sill. Now there will always be daisies in my house.

 

images

Added note:  If you are interested, the hand I reached for belongs to Christel Hughes. http://www.christelhughes.com/coaching.html

Jill Alman-Bernstein

I Must Be A Mermaid is the blending of my own personal soul searching with the inspirations and insights that I first found in the community of like-minded writers, healers, and teachers on Facebook. I dove in, created my page, and found the courage to swim through whatever was in my path, giving voice to my feelings through my personal observations and writing, as well as of those that spoke to me. With my I Must Be A Mermaid blog, I will fearlessly dive deeper into the realms of my heart and soul, swimming through their waters as a mermaid immersed in the sea of life.

By | 2014-03-18T17:50:02+00:00 March 18th, 2014|Emotional Weather on the "8's"|3 Comments