Sometimes I feel stuck and that I am not able to break free of the patterns and thoughts that keep me from moving forward. It feels like I am just treading water – keeping my head just above the surface… just enough so that I can see things around me and breathe. But that is not what I want my life to be. I want to move forward, swim into the currents of all life has to offer. I want to splash in the ebbs and flows of the tides, feel all the joy and love. I want to swim in the sea of life!
I confess. Though I have always loved and now live by the sea, with the exception of my toes touching the water on a rare occasion, I have not immersed myself in the ocean in quite some time. My husband would agree that it has been years since I have playfully surfed the waves and swam out from the shore to drift in solitude and allow the gentle waves to carry me.
This all changed today.
I am the Mermaid of I Must Be A Mermaid – the facebook page and blog. And so when another page and business made its presence known to me, Fin Fun Mermaid Tails, and asked if I would be willing to promote their wonderful Mermaid tail and fin, I thought, why not? In exchange for my time and support, they would send me my very own fin and tail. Ok, so I am a zaftig mermaid, not one of the svelte and fashionable ones that we all see in those amazing photographs and paintings. The big question was what ever was I going to wear to make me look like a Mermaid and not a small whale? This was indeed the exercise at hand. The tail was after all just a bottom, what to wear on top…. I scoffed at the topless mermaid idea, especially without my long wavy mermaid hair! I hemmed and hawed and procrastinated until the weather turned cold.
After much thought and then feeling a bit guilty that I had not held up my end of the deal with Fin Fun, I had agreed to write a review and send along some pictures or video (very scary!), I finally took the plunge. I had been on the beach yesterday at around noon and it was beautiful and perfect. The weather report was the same for today. I enlisted my husband as my photographer for what would be a test run. This would be a “let’s see how the tail works and figure out what we need for the real shoot.” And that is how it went.
So there I was. On a deserted beach except for my husband and two dogs, who were quite confused that I had turned into a huge fishlike creature and that I was flopping around in the water to boot. I was a Mermaid…. I write so much about the gestalt of being a Mermaid and now I actually had turned into one! I was always a swimmer. Gliding in the sea in an iridescent tail with a huge fin seemed natural. Swimming in the tail was amazing. There is a fluidity that is unsurpassed when you are one solid beam moving through the water. There is a rhythm that you feel, like a heart beat that compliments the very tide that you are swimming with and then against. I wrote earlier that I was going to the beach to Sea Soul Search…. and what I found was my renewed Mermaid Soul. And it was invigorating and liberating, and fun… fin fun!
visit Fin Fun at http://www.finfunmermaid.com/
Water is to a mermaid what air is to a mortal woman. But water serves an even deeper metaphorical role. It is the life sustaining force. It represents the womb and a woman’s capacity for birthing not only a child, but more importantly, and more necessarily, herself. Each bubble that first rises so frantically and quickly as if it were itself in a panic, thought to being drowned and suffocated, slows to the realization that this is a process of life and each bubble represents an event, a memory, a cellular or energetic imprint, a relationship, a greatness or tragedy, each bubble manifests itself as a tear, and a stream of bubbles a stream of tears, a torrent of emotion pouring out, washing out and away the pain, leaving only the ease of breath and the acceptance of the present moment, of being at peace, immersed in tranquility and clarity.
I am underwater. But in the final moment of submersion, when the bubbles begin to ascend ever so slowly and at longer intervals, there is a clarity that is unveiled. My eyes wide open, first unable to see the light bouncing from the sun to the sand, now can follow the artful glimmers dancing in such a beautiful arc. There is no mistaking that moment where nothing is obscured and everything is crystallized.