I have always loved kaleidoscopes, my eye taking in all the ever changing shapes and colors. Life is like that too… the patterns, the lightness and darkness of our days… All it takes is that twist of hand, that shift of perspective, the ever so slight altering of something to bring about a change. A deep relaxed breath… a stretch of the arms towards the sun… an opening of your heart… Life is ever-shifting, each moment offering an opportunity to change and alter our outlooks and outcomes.
It has been such a long time since I have really written anything… I have been thinking about that lately, and feeling that it might be time to dive in to my heart that feels so broken, shattered from the loss of my father, and the shifts of life that have rippled from that loss. A friend sent me a book shortly after my father died… “How to Heal A Grieving Heart” by Doreen Virtue and James Van Praagh. It was given to her and signed by James Van Praagh, yet she felt called to put it into my hands. If you don’t know this book, each page has a separate thought, so you can just open the book to any page and find some bit of inspiration to help you through your grief. I think one of the first things I read from it was about how one great loss will trigger other unhealed losses. I had been experiencing that and reading that passage validated what I was going through. And so I have been wading through all the other losses that I thought I had put into place, accepted, understood, integrated, healed… only to discover of course that that was the furthest thing from the truth, my truth. Why when I wanted to focus on grieving the death of my father did I have to think about other things, relationships, parts of myself that brought up so much emotion. But there it all was. And I really had no choice but to somehow find my path through it all. My heart ached. I was depleted emotionally, physically, and spiritually. And ten months later, I can’t believe that my father has been gone (in the physical sense) for ten months, I am still very much immersed in the process and feelings of that grieving. Tears flow daily and I basque in the salt of my personal sea.
I think that our hearts are continually being broken – but broken open so that we may have the opportunity to really see who we are and who is really there for us in our lives. I have talked to many friends that have experienced the loss of a loved one, and everyone shares this – that the dynamics in their relationships change. Perhaps the person who died was the glue of the family… perhaps in the process of the death family members did not see things exactly the same way… or perhaps because we are all unique, we handle our grief as we handle our life in different ways. The point is, things change. Everything changes. And the change is continual. And so I take comfort in the fact that the sadness or pain or anger or disconnectedness I feel will change too. I think loss is the great wave that washes over us and like the ocean washing the shore, exposes every rock, every shell, every granule of sand, every piece of us. It forces us to be in the light, and yet there is the darkness too, when the water blankets us and allows us to stay in our depths, in whatever feelings we choose to be in at that time. I prefer the light. I relish the sunlight that shines on the beach, on me, warming my heart so that feelings of acceptance and love emanate from my soul, from my very core essence. But I also recognize the importance of the darkness and the time spent in that place. There is a quote about how it is darkness that gives us the opportunity to see the light. I think I see the light now – I think I see the path, to healing and love and acceptance and understanding of it all. And that is all we can really ask of ourselves – to find our way in a manner that allows us to be in the light of love and happiness, if even just for a moment each day.
We begin our very physical existence in water. It is in the womb that we are surrounded by the gentle, soothing fluid that allows our consciousness to develop, our human-ness to form.
There is something so beautiful, natural, and serene about being one with the nature of life itself. There is an inherent truth to an integral return to that from which we came, that from which we developed and discovered ourselves, that from which our consciousness is at home and one with. It is the very nature of our mermaid soul…
Returning to our natural states is as necessary as the air we must breathe to live, as the sustenance we require to exist as a complete and conscious body. It is there that we can awaken to our greatest power and potential.
Life crashes us with its thunderous surf. It lulls us with its tides. It pushes us with its currents. We only need to look at the waters to understand the vulnerability and strength within us. We only need to dive deeply into where we came from to recover the treasures that are within our hearts and souls.
Breathe and anchor yourself in the rush of each present wave… surrender to the flow… allow the sea to carry you, just as it did at your very beginning.
I have been pondering one of my catch phrases… “Dive deep”. Meaning is a subjective thing. We give everything in our life meaning by the value we place on it. So I asked myself, what is the value of diving deep into my heart and soul? The painful unraveling of the puzzle of who I am, chiseling the layers of self protection to discover that essence, where every breath, if I let it, helps shatter the illusions, the non truths, inviting me to reach for and grasp my very passion and purpose that I am diving for, to find and live in alignment and balance.
We dive for the inspiration to get through our day, our life. We dive for answers to our many questions. We dive with our mermaid sisters so we can know that we are not alone, that we are supported and loved though our journey is fraught with emotional undertows.
We dive deeply into our selves so that we may find our highest and greatest good, so that we can know peace and joy in our soul. For when we follow our passion, we indeed find our purpose and then our world all at once makes perfect sense. Dive deep…
To flow is to move along in a steady and continuous stream… gliding, unhampered, as if you are water itself.
I always love when the universe is trying to give me a clear message. There were two posts the other day that jumped out at me and caught my attention. They both spoke about the ability to keep moving on, that it wasn’t enough just to make a move, but that you had to keep the motion flowing.
That is the key. You have to keep moving, flowing. And keep flowing forward at that. I have discovered that the art of that flow is to anchor yourself each day with things that help you stay grounded and feeling productive and good about yourself. I call these my “three little somethings.” I have found that if I can do three little somethings each day, that my energy, outlook, and overall health improve. The first something is something for myself – like conscious breathing, meditation, exercise, yoga, a walk on the beach, or a lovely bath just to name a few ideas; second, something productive – maybe it’s for work, maybe it is for the household… it could be a task, a chore, catching up on correspondence or filing, maybe it is cleaning off my desk! Maybe it is as simple as driving one of my children somewhere, or in my case the other night, preparing a family dinner for nine. The third something is something creative – journal, paint, dance, write, sing… for me it is usually writing, but maybe it is creating posters for my Facebook page, maybe it is playing guitar or piano. Doing something for my creative heart and soul lifts my spirit and at the same time renews my energy.
Accomplishing my “three little somethings” each day helps me to stay grounded, happy, and feeling good about myself. And by the way, if for some reason I don’t get to all three, I forgive myself, knowing that I did the best I could, and that tomorrow is a new day. I keep flowing forward, drifting, swimming, gliding… whatever it takes to just stay in the art of flow.
Do you ever wonder why all of the sudden something will make sense, you will finally get the big concept picture, you will breathe a sigh of relief, exclaim “a ha!”… In those moments your soul is clicking into the recognition of its path.
Many of us are searching for those moments, and we search for them in the messages that the universe is communicating to us. We search for understanding, guidance, answers, pathways… all in the framework of inspiration.
Inspiration comes in the morning through the sun rising, spreading its rays of warmth, it comes with the light of day, it comes with the setting sun and the dark of night, it comes as a mystical blanket of stars, or perhaps it comes as the brightening of the magnificent galaxies.
In the drops of brilliant thought we seek an answer, a reason, a paradigm, and find rhetoric of inspiration. Phrases repeatedly seem to appear. Some of my favorites are everything happens for you, not to you; things will keep coming up until you have learned the lesson it must teach; everything happens for a reason; oh and – let it go. It does seem that particular messages arrive in our view at pretty much the precise time that we need them, the universe giving us exactly what we need when we need it. It is these words and phrases and thoughts that click in us sending a clear message from our deepest dreams: and they beckon follow me, I will make you feel better, you will love me, with me you will see wonder, this is your journey, this is your path, this is your destiny.
There are messages for us everywhere. Messages that help guide us along. And we are all seeing the same ones, searching for the same thing – uniquely discovering our place in it all.
We glide through life as mermaids do – breathing in the depths where many cannot, swimming deep into our psyches, our souls, exploring our caverns and all the aspects of ourselves and our soul family. The ocean is our soul’s place and so we are drawn to the water, its well of secrets and magic immersed in the shadows and light of the sun or moon above.
Inspiration is drawn like water from a well. It can be scooped up by handfuls, sipped a few mouthfuls at a time, or drunk furiously out of sheer thirst. At different times in our lives we seem to seek that water… as if it itself holds the answers.
We go through life almost on automatic. Our body manages to sustain itself – all our systems operate healthily we hope, and we awake and glide through our days to wind down and lay our heads to rest at night.
Our human experiences begin from the moment we are conceived. In the womb we have a consciousness. Though we may not have any sense of that time, each moment is indelibly imprinted. We are born and live our lives, each of us our own adventure, each of us our own individual story to tell. We form our ideas and thoughts. We discover what we want, what we dream and desire. We strive for the things that we think are important, that will make us happy, successful, and loved.
But for most of us, there is a glitch, an imperfection, a bump in our road, an obstacle that throws us off course, or prevents us from achieving something that we aspire towards. There are things that don’t sit well with us, that cause us stress, or pain. And there are things that though we try to avoid them, they keep coming up. (more…)
Each day is supposed to be a new day, filled with new opportunities, and new choices. But for so many of us, each day is a repeat of the one before. We have the same feelings about things, the same responses, the familiar cycle is like a loop – the same song repeating itself over and over, and like in the movie Groundhog Day, we try desperately to remember what we want to do differently, and hope that we can shift things just enough to change the outcome of our day.
We all have patterns that we seem to repeat over and over again. We get stuck in the same cycles day after day and though we reach for thoughts and ways to alter our feelings and outcomes, most of the time we are unsuccessful at effecting change. There are many tricks that one can use to help shift that pattern. (more…)
Each day the sun rises and we begin anew. The light of the morning begins to warm our bodies and soothe our souls. Our breath flows and we see the wonders of the universe around us. In the passage of the night we not only sleep, but dream, and restore our most delicate spirits, downloading all that we need to assess, sort out, file, and gain perspective on, giving us the opportunity to reset our hearts, and be ready to meet the morning and the next set of emotional, spiritual, and physical tests that await us. (more…)